wild iris
I've been meaning for a few years now to sign up for something on the "national day of service" which many groups connect with MLK Day, but I never find something that really feels right. This year, after a few false starts on the Internet, I signed up for a project from San Francisco's African American Historical and Cultural Society, which seemed to have a lot of different options.

Just getting there was fun. They're in a neighborhood of San Francisco called the Western Addition (it's a historical name; it was added after the 1906 earthquake, but it's now kind of central). They had a nice orientation going, with lots of food, many sign-up sheets, an extremely friendly greeter, and a chance to admire their beautiful 3-story mural. I signed up for "neighborhood cleanup" at an intersection I didn't recognize, because lots of other people had signed up for it, and neighborhood cleanup sounded attractive.

After about 20 minutes of food and socializing, with King speeches on the PA system in the background,we had a short rally. The director of the Center did some introductions and some thank-yous, a local minister led us in a nonsectarian, very MLK-centered prayer, Lateefah Simon, a woman who grew up in the neighborhood and is now Executive Director of the Lawyers Committee for civil rights, gave a short and genuinely inspiring speech. Brandon Hughes gave one of King's own speeches in defense of nonviolence, very well indeed.

Then we scattered onto waiting Muni buses (acting as shuttle buses) for our various tasks. When we got to mine, I knew I had made a wrong choice for me. The "neighborhood cleanup" was actually clearing brush and litter off a hill that goes from the edge of a low-income neighborhood down to a major thoroughfare. Apparently, we were part of a neighborhood project that was effectively park cleanup. There's nothing wrong with park cleanup, or with neighborhood projects but, as one gentleman getting off the bus with me said, "What's this got to do with Martin Luther King?" I could see lots of ecological and aesthetic value to what people were doing, but it was poorly organized (no one was in charge or giving any kinds of instruction or guidance) and deeply invisible--because they gave out orange vests, anyone walking or driving by would probably think it was city workers (the ones that are left) doing their job.

I took a bag of garbage and started picking up what I could find, though the accessible areas had been pretty picked over. I went down a long flight of stairs because it looked like there might be more useful work at the bottom of the hill, and there was, but the space had been taken up by a few people who had brush-clearing machinery and the sidewalks were impassable. I went back up the flight of stairs, filled my garbage bag so I'd feel like I'd done <I>something</i> and headed home.

Not to fault the AAHCU. I could easily have picked another task. I could have asked more about this one. And not to fault the neighborhood cleanup crew, who were doing good work. Managing volunteers is a skill and, because to some degree I have it, I'm fussy about it. But not every group has it, or even knows it's a skill.

I'm not at all sorry I went. Next year, I'll probably sign up in the same place and ask more questions. Meanwhile, I'm now on the Center's mailing list, and I bet interesting things will turn up from that.

And I did a few errands, came home and took a long nap, and am now going to do laundry and dishes.

Awwwww

Jan. 8th, 2012 09:55 pm
wild iris

I won't name the three-year-old (many of you will know anyway) who said tonight through her tears:

"Daddy, you have to stop saying no to me, because it makes me so sad!"

Daddy, sensibly, said that saying no is part of being a parent, but he was sorry she was sad and glad she used her words so well.
 

FOGcon 2!

Jan. 8th, 2012 12:37 pm
wild iris
 Now that we've rung in 2012, it's time to remind y'all that FOGcon 2 is coming up in three months.

The theme for this year is "the body," and we're collecting programming suggestions (about the body, or anything else appropriate for a mostly-book-focused science fiction convention) here. Once programming suggestions close (probably in a week or two, and we'll announce it), then we'll put up a list of programs so you can volunteer to be on various panels and other program items.

The best news is that our honored guests are Nalo Hopkinson ([livejournal.com profile] nnaloh) and Shelley Jackson!  We couldn't ask for more exciting guests, and both of them have a lot to say about the theme.

We'll be at the Marriott Walnut Creek, March 30-April 1, 2012. The Marriott is a really nice hotel, about a 15-minute walk from the Walnut Creek BART station, and an easy drive from almost anywhere in the Bay Area. The hotel runs a shuttle to downtown Walnut Creek, which has a veritable cornucopia of restaurants and shops.

Everyone had a great time last year, and we anticipate a wonderful time this year. Please register, suggest programming, sign up for programming (when we're ready for you) and come join us!

feminist hulk
I'm a regular lender at Kiva, and a big fan. Now, I find out through [livejournal.com profile] vgqn that they're offering free $25 loans for first-time lenders. If the loan is repaid (as over 98% of Kiva loans are), the money goes back to Kiva; you can't reloan it. Nonetheless, it's a generous opportunity to do some good for free. If you have the money, you might find that you want to keep lending.

Joe-Debbie says check it out.

Phil Ochs
It wasn't convenient for me to attend the solstice party I was invited to, so [personal profile] pokershaman and I are home, and I'm getting things done. But let me take a moment to wish you all a very happy return of the sun (solstice was three minutes ago as I write). May the triumphs and celebrations of the last year be enhanced, and the difficulties be minimized, for each and every one of you.

Being Elmo

Dec. 19th, 2011 09:53 pm
folk
Because [personal profile] pokershaman and I spend a bunch of time with [livejournal.com profile] pantryslut , [personal profile] black_pearl  and [livejournal.com profile] imnotandrei  and their three-year-old twins, I know more about Sesame Street now than I ever did. It didn't exist when I would have watched it as part of the target audience.

Yesterday, all the adults from our two households went to see Being Elmo. I had not been aware until[personal profile] black_pearl mentioned the movie, that the charmingly young, high-voiced Elmo is the creation of a large, deep-voiced African-American man named Kevin Clash. Clash is not the only person to have made a life out of muppetry after being fascinated by it as a child; another interesting example is Carmen Osbahr, who creates Rosita, and who made the jump to Sesame Street from a Mexican childhood where she spoke no English (!).

But this film is Kevin Clash's story, and I am here to tell you that it is completely delightful from start to finish. You can't help liking Clash, and his parents, and the way he tells his story. I teared up a couple of times (including at Jim Henson's death, unsurprisingly) and I was also happy throughout. My favorite story is that senior puppeteer Richard Hunt had apparently gotten frustrated with the obscure Elmo puppet, and tossed the little red imp at Clash (who was somewhat of a newbie) and said, "Here; see if you can do something with him!" 

Clash says, recounting this story, that Frank Oz told him that each puppet needs one basic characteristic to drive their individuality (or words to that effect). When you hear what Elmo's is, you'll understand why he's such a popular character.

If you have any interest in the Street, in puppetry, or in kids who get the chance to succeed, this documentary is for you.

#Occupy

Dec. 12th, 2011 12:15 pm
feminist hulk
Who shut down the port? We shut down the port?

So I got up at 4:20 this morning, took a quick shower and threw on my warmest clothes, which I had set out before going to sleep. Despite leaving the house on time, I missed the BART train I was aiming for, but still got to the West Oakland BART as a surprisingly large number of people were coalescing for the "shut down the West Coast ports" action. I would say that there were roughly 200 occupiers at the BART at slightly after 5:30. One woman I spoke to said she saw two Homeland Security officers at the West Oakland BART with the BART police, but that she talked to them and they denied that their presence had anything to do with the port action; they were just protecting BART. Sure, there's always Homeland Security guys at West Oakland at 5:30 a.m.

The organizers were encouraging some folks to take shuttles to the port (which is about a mile and a half from the BART station), as an early arriving group. I kind of wanted to walk, but I got on a shuttle (which turned out to be a good choice). On this shuttle were about 20 people, including a two-person crew from Real News Network, and folks from Seattle, Davis, and Monterey, as well as the locals. Police cars shadowed the shuttles and we thought we might not get in to the port, but we weren't stopped.

We got out in the dark (not as cold as I had feared, but not warm) and folks immediately started walking in a circle in the driveway to one of the docks. I was talking to a man who asked me to help hold a Teachers Union banner, which I did for a while. He turned out to be the son of the legendary Bill Mandel, whose KPFA broadcasts (and the fight over whose firing) I remember well. Lots of people on bicycles were part of the early contingent. From the beginning, we had at least 100-150 people in our area (Berths 30-32), which was one of three or four being blockaded. Most were picketing, but some were standing in the street, or watching from the sidelines.

Caitlin, one of the action organizers, explained that we needed at least 100 people at every dock entrance we were blocking, walking steadily in a circle because "that's what a picket line is," which not everyone understood. She also told us that the ILWU shift starts at 7 (at this point, it was about 6 or 6:15) and that the workers had been told to stand by. At some point in the morning, an arbitrator would decide whether or not the port was a "health and safety risk" and if she or he decided it was, tell the workers not to come in at all for the day shift. She said that could happen between 7:30 and 12:30, and that our best strategy was to keep the picket circles moving until the decision was made.

So we did. There were chants and some music and rhythm sections. The sun came up. [personal profile] whittles showed up. Some people were handing out hardboiled eggs, and later apple pastries. After a while, some folks came by with coffee, tea, and soup (maybe they were from Food Not Bombs? one of the coffee urns had an FNB label). Picketing is tiring, but there were interesting conversations everywhere and the mood was cheery, especially once it got light. There was very little action at the port itself: one man (later identified as "management") walking around and texting, an occasional vehicle coming <I>out</i>, but none coming in.

The crowd was mostly (but by no means entirely) white, with a wide variety of ages, probably equally men and women.

Some folks were angry at a couple of protesters who were actively "blocking" a gate--standing in front of it--instead of picketing. ("A couple of people like that can ruin this for all of us!") The organizers kept pushing us to picket, but didn't seem to be policing anyone else's choices, and it later got funny. News was well distributed: we got reports on what was happening at other sites in the port, and also up and down the coast. I haven't checked any news yet, but it does sound like there were successful actions from Seattle to San Diego, although apparently there was police trouble in San Diego as well.

Somewhere around 9, we were encouraged to tighten up the picket lines and find partners, because there were "55 sheriffs in riot gear" not far away. By then, a few men had climbed up a nearby sign identifying the shipping lines that use the port (maybe about three stories tall). The protester who was blocking the gate had gone to join them, and had left his two signs across each other and the gate as a block. When the guys on the top of the sign announced that the sheriffs were moving away, Mr. Gate-Blocker came back and was deeply indignant that his signs were gone! When he put replacements back, he labeled them "Do not remove." I think he's really not clear on the concept of direct action and individual decision-making, but I refrained from explaining this to him.

At one point when I was off to the side, I ended up chatting with Caitlin, who was <I>thrilled</i> at how things were going, and also told me that the international management of the ILWU was the source of the persistent rumor that this action was unpopular with port employees. She sounded convincing, and I'm going to check out what she told me.

I wandered off to use the bathroom, to find that there was one (foul) portapotty with a long line. Several people, unconnected to one another, told me that the police had cordoned off the good bathroom in the park for their use and were not letting protesters use it, but I didn't go check that out. I was going to sit for a while after getting through the line, but the energy was heating up again. This time, there were about 20-25 sheriffs in riot gear just on the other side of the fence from the bigger of the two picket lines where we were. They were maybe 50 yards away, behind a chain-link fence that they could open. So it felt important to keep picketing, even though my legs and feet were definitely feeling the 3+ hours of walking. I was watching the cops carefully; they kept varying how many of them had their visors down--sometimes it was few of them and sometimes most of them, but never all. When you worry is when they all put their visors down at the same time. Some folks were doing street theater in the space between the picket line and the cops.

After about 20 minutes of this, folks in the crowd started getting texts that the arbitrator had ruled in our favor and the day shift was closed down. Caitlin encouraged us to stay for another 15 minutes until the word was final, and shortly thereafter it was. At that point, most of the protesters dispersed, though some stayed to watch a couple of berths where there were apparently workers who had come in before we got there.

On the long walk back to the BART station, I talked to a bunch of people. I saw a young woman give up her place in a car to a disabled older woman. I had a longish talk with a passionate young woman from the Black Block (the avowedly violent protesters) and learned a lot from her. I liked her a lot better than the gate blocker.

And then I came home. Another, probably much larger, contingent will do the same thing this afternoon for the next shift, but I think I'll be kind to my feet.

Next step for me is, I hope, getting more involved in the movements to stop individual foreclosures. So far, I've only dipped one toe in those waters.





wild iris
[livejournal.com profile] jpmassar has been tirelessly promoting the disturbingly little-known provision of the Affordable Health Care Act--now in place--which provides surprisingly reasonably priced health care coverage to people with pre-existing conditions.

As JP says on his Daily Kos diary (also linked from his LJ):

  • If a person
    • has a pre-existing condition
    • cannot get insurance at all or cannot get it at a non-exhorbitant price because of that condition
    • has not been insured for a least six months
    • and is a US citizen or legal immigrant
  • THEN THEY ARE ELIGIBLE FOR THE PCIP PROGRAM, and
  • here's where you send them or go yourself to help them
The program is available in slightly different forms in all 50 states. I just talked to someone whose brother (in his 60s) would have to pay $450/month. That's not cheap, but it's not like the cost of health care, or like the cost of "we don't want you" insurance. Not even close.

Let's get this program fully subscribed! 

wild iris
*roll over sleepily, open one eye, peer at clock*

6:30 is a little earlier than I'd like, but not a bad time to wake up.

*something mechanical emits a cheeping sound*

I can take my time getting out of bed.

*cheep* *cheep*

Wait, is that noise coming from inside the house?

*cheep* *cheep*

Oh, I remember that noise. What is it? Low battery on a smoke detector?

*cheep*
'
Yeah, maybe that's it. Guess I should go figure out which one.

*cheep* 

*go stand under the smoke detector in the hallway, the easiest one to get to with the stepstool*
*decide it's cheeping*

*cheep* *not from the one in the hall*

Could two of them be cheeping at the same time?

*go find 9-volt batteries* Good, there are three of them.

*go stand under the one in the hall again*

*cheep* *cheep* *from two different directions*

*go fetch stepstool*

*go into [personal profile] pokershaman 's room* *look dispiritedly at the papers and other junk under the smoke detector* 
*CHEEP!*

*dispiritedly move the papers and other junk under the smoke detector*

*CHEEP* *cheep*

Damn, it definitely is two of them.

*set up stepstool* *dismantle smoke detector* *remove battery*
*attempt to attach replacement battery*

*cheep*

I can't do this standing on the stepstool; it takes too much concentration for this hour of the morning.

*step down, sit down, attach replacement battery*
*cheep*
*climb back up and close up smoke detector*

*cheep*

*move stepstool to my room*

*dispiritedly move smaller amount of papers and other junk*

*CHEEP*

*set up stepstool, climb up, decide it's about three inches too far away*
*climb down, move stepstool, climb up*

*CHEEP*

*dismantle smoke detector, climb down*

*cheep*

Oh, shit! Maybe it has a couple of leftover cheeps and then it stops?

*remove and replace battery*
*sit on my bed for two minutes enjoying the silence*

*climb up and close smoke detector*

Well, at least this is worth a post.

wild iris
My niece Emma turns 19 next week. Longtime readers of this journal may recall that in 2007 and 2008 she had Hodgkins' Lymphoma and eventually made as complete a recovery as one does from such things. She's always been extremely important to me, and her illness only made that more true. Her cancer was bracketed by her father's (my brother's) pseudomyxoma in 2004 and his current colon cancer, so the family has had eight very hard years. None of which is the point of this entry, but it is the background.

Emma is turning into a near-professional quality cook and baker, though she shows few signs of wanting to have any kind of a career just yet. On my last couple of visits, she has described the teas that she and her friend Lena make, and I've made it clear that I'd like to come to one. So she planned her birthday tea for this visit. (They live in Seattle; I live in the Bay Area, about 800 miles away.) Here's the menu (for 16 people):

Starters

Crustless tea sandwiches: salmon and cream cheese; minced turkey with mayonnaise and mustard; roasted red pepper spread.
Mushroom bread pudding in individual ramekins.
Scooped-out plums filld with nectarine matchstick strips
Fresh shrimp with leek confit
Jellied tomatoes (supposed to be a one-piece tomato terrine, but it didn't hold its shape)

Scones
Espresso granita in individual glasses
Butterscotch scones with butter, jam, and whipped cream
(also [personal profile] pokershaman 's artisan chocolates during this course)

Sweets

Cream puffs (some with custard, some with whipped cream)
Peach cupcakes with peach frosting and pop-rock topping
Chocolate cake with mint frosting, decorated with grapes from the household vines
Cream cake with candied oranges and orange frosting (decorated with piped white frosting)

Drinks

Mandarin orange spice tea
Peppermint and raspberry Italian soda

The guests covered a more than 40-year age range; aside from the immediate family, there were three of Emma's brother's friends (so four boys in the 13-year old range), two of Lena's friends (two young men, 15 and 17, apparently a couple); Lena's father, and three of the family's adult friends, all single women.

The table was done up beautifully, with teacups and lovely plates; tiered plates for sandwiches and small cakes, individual dishes for many things, stemmed glasses for the Italian sodas.

Emma and Lena served everything from behind makeshift curtains that my sister-in-law put up to protect the preparation space from the guests.

Virtually everything was handmade. She bought the bread for the tea sandwiches, and for the mushroom pots. Lena did a significant share of the cooking, and Emma's mom and brother and I all did bits and pieces here and there. But Emma was the director of everything, and everything went spectacularly. I have forty more years of cooking experience than she has, and I don't think I could have pulled it off. I know I couldn't have pulled it off with as much calm and good temper.

Next week, I have a date with [livejournal.com profile] pantryslut, [personal profile] pokershaman, and [livejournal.com profile] imnotandrei at Lovejoy's. Right now, despite their wonderful crumpets, it feels like it will be a pale shadow of what Emma did today.

But I won't have to do the dishes, and that's a plus.

ETA: [livejournal.com profile] madrobins caught my egregious two-decade date error for Emma's illness. It's fixed now.

wild iris
I just looked at my g-chat list of who's available right this minute. Most of these are not people I chat with, but just people I have exchanged mail with through g-mail. Nonetheless, right at the moment, the list of people online whom I could ping at any moment consists of:

A Russian expat female tech geek and poker player living in the U.S.
A transgender woman with a flourishing e-publishing business
A recent chair of WisCon
A lesbian mom (and tech geek)
A Google employee (and tech geek)
An ex-microbiologist turned conflict facilitator in Croatia
A Muslim/Arab science fiction writer

I love my life. Just sayin'.

Joanna Russ
if a bunch of us don't go make suggestions, How to Suppress Women's Writing won't make the cut.

And while we're at it,[personal profile] jesse_the_k pointed me to this post by [livejournal.com profile] jimhines, which is something special in the Russ style.

reading
It is such a pleasure to be hanging out with the lovely and gracious [livejournal.com profile] kightp in her home in Central Oregon. Since [personal profile] pokershaman and I got here on Wednesday (on the train, on the train, on the train!) we have eaten well, conversed well, relaxed well, and been well taken care of.

Last night, we went out for dinner with [livejournal.com profile] saoba and [livejournal.com profile] irismoonlight and their gentleman friends. The restaurant has small plates, entrees, and a full bar plus desserts, so we managed to spend a good number of hours with various combinations of food and drink, and lots of pleasant talk, including[livejournal.com profile] saoba 's very memorable story of her close encounter with Van Halen. Then we went off to other friends of Pat's to see if we could see the supernova ... and after much fussing and triangulating, we could! The owner of the telescope turns out to be an amazing man, who is building high-end beautifully designed milled orreries and other gear and mechanical objets d'art et de science in his home workshop. I could have listened to him for hours (in fact, we listened to him for about one hour). Utterly perfect.

Today we get on the train (i.e., Amtrak bus) to Portland for a small convention/party hosted by science-fiction community people, followed by time in Portland with our process-work community people. And then to Seattle for ... more time with people. Can you tell I planned this trip? But it will also be punctuated with a reasonable amount of quiet time, including the trips between cities.



wild iris
two women carrying fabricated steel in the WWII shipyards

I took this photo from the Rosie the Riveter Trust page. I can't tell if the woman in the back is Chinese or not, but it was donated by the family of a Chinese worker in the shipyards.

As many others have said this morning, in the U.S., organized labor brought us the eight-hour-day, health insurance for employees, and the weekend.

wild iris
1) I am feeling all smug and virtuous (and in surprisingly good physical shape) because my soon-to-be-new downstairs neighbor and I hauled two truckloads of stuff out of the house and garage yesterday (with various help, including a very useful TaskRabbit), and still with a lot of our own sweat, and we did it all and I feel pretty good today.

2) [personal profile] pokershaman and I are taking an almost-two week train trip to various points in the Pacific Northwest. I am looking forward to the trip, but I am so excited about not getting on an airplane that the airline industry should worry. We are going to central Oregon to see [livejournal.com profile] kightp for a couple of days, and then to a celebration hosted by [livejournal.com profile] kateyule and [personal profile] davidlevine in Portland, and then staying in Portland to see process work people. (My therapist is in Portland, and we almost always meet by phone, so it's great when we're actually in the same place.)   Then we are going to Seattle to see my family (and [livejournal.com profile] janeehawkins, [personal profile] roadnotes and [livejournal.com profile] baldanders , and probably other folks). Then we are coming back on the train! Did I mention that we're taking the train?

3)  I keep meaning to write a post about the BART protests, which are causing a lot of frustration and anger among BART passengers. Back in the day, we thought the most important thing about protests, whether disruptive or otherwise, was raising awareness and attempting to bring people in to the issues. This particular set of protests is virtually silent on the issues. There are no people with signs. There are no leaflets. I personally am not even sure if the current nominal issue is the death of Charles Blair or the shutdown of cell-phone service at the first post-Blair demonstration.  I'm sure the disruptors are having fun, and I personally find it amusing to see how little they have to do to "disrupt BART," since the BART management is more than happy to do their work for them, but the political impact is nil to negative.   And since I'm so exercised over the cell-phone service shutdown (and deeply unhappy about the deaths), I want to see political impact.

4)   I am too overscheduled with fun things to have any idea how I will be ready for the trip. I just have to take my ability to get things done in the crevices on faith, I guess.

How are you?

TaskRabbit

Aug. 26th, 2011 07:49 am
wild iris
[personal profile] loracs turned me on to Task Rabbit some months ago and I'm just trying it out now to get someone to help with some simple furniture moving which is just slightly beyond the physical capability of the two of us who are doing it next week. The theory is that you post a task that you want done, and someone who is capable of doing it shows up and does it, for a small amount of money. It seems to be extremely well-thought-out and efficient, and I expect to use it more often.

But what I'm thinking about now is how useful it would be for unemployed people. Not all the tasks are physical work by any means--some seem to be desk or computer work, and others are car errands. This is not going to make anyone financially comfortable, but it sure might buy a dinner or pay something toward a hard-to-complete rent bill. Looks like they're up and running in Boston, Chicago, New York, LA, Orange County, and the Bay Area. (There might also be some income to be made by setting them up in other areas.)

I'm doing a lot (too much) thinking about the state of the world, and I'm grasping at straws. So here's a straw for any of you who might also be grasping ...

Girl Farm

Aug. 14th, 2011 05:42 pm
wild iris
Worldcon is more or less starting in Reno as we speak, but [personal profile] pokershaman and I are here to see friends and are going home tonight, long before the festivities really get going. We're visiting [personal profile] dancingsinging and her family, and today they took us to their farm share, just over the border into California. We have a CSA membership with Terra Firma Farm, and we went up last fall for their Farm Day festivities, but this is a completely different experience.

Terra Firma grows fruits, vegetables, and nuts. Girl Farm grows some vegetables (in a much drier and less cooperative climate) and raises animals: chickens, turkeys, pigs, goats, and cows for sure, and I think maybe also sheep. Terra Firma has 1400 subscribers, more or less. They deliver to many locations in the Bay Area. Your boxes are not customized--you get what's growing. My office has gotten used to the beets. :-) Girl Farm is hoping to have 20 member families, who can pick and choose their vegetables from what's available, and who also get chickens, eggs, and meat. You have to drive out once a week to get your share, and if you want chickens, you have to help with the "harvesting" (clearly a word chosen for its palatability to suburban or urban customers). When you go up, you're greeted by one of the farmers, who knows all the kids, takes you around to show you some of the livestock, and chats cheerfully about what's happening on the farm. Today, they were installing a large worm farm behind the chicken barn. The whole model is about making personal relationships with a small number of members who are looking for more connection with the land and their food. It's obviously wonderful for the kids to have a farm that they know well enough to run around in, pigs that they know by name, baby chickens they can hold ... and the difficult but realistic experience of eating a roast made from a piglet that you saw a week after it was born.

[personal profile] dancingsinging 's husband J. is a novice beekeeper, and his hive is installed about half a mile from Girl Farm. He took us out to show it off, and lent us bee veils. Their 5-year-old daughter wears a full bee suit. He took the hive apart and showed us the different activity on the various frames. He was stung once (the second time he's been stung since he started this process) but the rest of us were unscathed. Both the actual hive and his excitement about it were fascinating. I've seen beehives before, mostly in nature museums, but I've never gotten up close and personal with one, and I also understand the system a lot better now.

We came back to Reno (well, Sparks, really) dry and dusty and happy.





Godot
No day in which your almost-one-week-missing junior cat is found and is fine is a bad day. Thus, today is not a bad day.

However,

... the cat's disappearance may or may not have triggered a significant illness episode in the older cat, but in any event the older cat mysteriously ill in ways that have been pretty scary, and I'm taking off work this afternoon to take him to the vet on an urgent care basis
... the older cat's illness and the younger cat's surprise reappearance are playing hell with [personal profile] pokershaman 's state of mind (perfectly legitimately)
... a close friend is disturbingly near the end of their rope in ways that could have profound effects on me and my life (not to mention a number of other lives)
...  [personal profile] pokershaman  just lost a filling that was put in yesterday
... we don't own a car (by choice) so [personal profile] pokershaman has to deal with the dental emergency on transit and I have to deal with the cat emergency in a City Car (fortunately, one was available on short notice)
... Work is uncooperatively busy.

Can I have a found cat <I>and</i> a redo on the rest of the day? No? I didn't think so.




Godot
So I'm spending the night with a sick friend, which is another, longer post, but not this post.

And said friend has a recliner massage chair with a remote control, good for sleeping in.

And the remote control, aside from all the massage-y buttons, has two buttons labeled "Down" and "Up." To me, "Down" is the one I would press to go back to a sitting position, i.e., to let my feet down. And "Up" would be the one I would press to put my feet up. But these buttons work the other way. I finally figured out that they should be labeled "Lie Down" and "Stand Up." But I still mess them up every time.
folk

Yesterday, as the first act of a long, complicated day, 

[personal profile] pokershaman  and I went to see a friend (C.) who is almost certainly dying. (No condolences are necessary, to either of us--we like her, but neither of us are especially close to her, and it's not so much painful as meaningful.)

We know C. from the process work community; the friends who have been doing the lion's share of taking care of her are from a different community, and we don't know them.  The email list that keeps me in touch with how she's doing had sent out a request that people come see her, with some instructions on how to behave and how not to behave that rubbed me the wrong way ("Let her fret about medications and food; you _can_ check on those things if you like, but basically she's getting what she needs.) And I know some of the backstory, which is that C. has, at least up  until very recently, not felt ready to commit to hospice and still wants to get enough better to try more treatment, and has been angry at the people who tell her freely that hospice is the right choice for her.

Let me say at the outset that It's hard to be point people at a death; it's hard to watch a dear friend die. I've done it (recently, in fact). Many if not most people my age have done it. I'm nowhere near a point person with C., and they probably are. I'm not in pain around it, and they almost certainly are. I can cut them slack; I can make space for the fact that I'm not part of their community and I haven't been around much (though I have done some things that seem to be very important to C.).  I'm not angry at them, but I am disappointed.

When we got there, two women were sitting with C., one on the phone. The one who wasn't on the phone got up and basically told us (politely) that this was a very important phone call--apparently the second woman was talking on the phone and relaying to C., who doesn't hear or see well any more--and we'd have to wait outside until it was over. The facility is one of those unpleasant places that is called a rehab facility, but is basically a nursing home, and it was less pleasant yesterday because they were recarpeting the whole front, so there was no reception area; we had a hard time even finding someone who could point us to our friend's room. There were no chairs, so we stood in the grim hallway for about ten minutes. The same woman came out again, I think to see if we were there, and reiterated that the call was important. Another friend (whom they did know) came to see C., and got basically the same treatment. She was even less comfortable than we were with standing around outside, and also had another appointment, so she couldn't decide whether or not to stay.

After another ten minutes or so, the woman who had been on the phone came outside and greeted us with, "Who are you?" In my country, we say, "Hi, I'm ___________. I'm sorry we kept you waiting" or words to that effect, and invite us by that greeting to give our names in return. But we told her who we were (neither woman ever introduced herself to us), and she said, "C. wants to stay really deep right now, so she says you can come in and touch her for a moment and then leave."

So we went in. C. grabbed my hands as if they were shelter in a storm. When I guided one of her hands to[personal profile] pokershaman's, it looked to me like she was holding him the same way. We whispered a few words to each other; she laughed at her confusion over what parts of which of us she was touching, and I honestly believe she would have loved it if we'd stayed for 20 minutes. But her friends were there, looking judgmental, clearly wondering when we were going to leave. So we held her hands for a minute or three and we left.

It wasn't until we were walking out of the rehab center that I realized that neither woman had given us their names, neither had asked us if this was hard for us, and neither had made any human connection with us whatsoever. In effect, we were a small obstacle in their story about their friend's death.

As I said, I can cut them slack; these things are hard. At the same time, I think it would be easier for them if they were more accepting of people they don't know. One thing I get a lot of on that e-mail list is a kind of semi-martyred "Why aren't more people helping with this?" And I understand (part of) the reason for that better now.

I don't think I can get to see C. again until Friday, if she's still around on Friday. And I'm very glad I went. [Bad username or unknown identity: ]
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